Necessary Roughness

In 1995 the Kansas City Chiefs under coach Marty Schottenheimer went 13-3 in the regular season, skipping the first round of the playoffs with a bye, only to be knocked out by the Colts in the first playoff game they played. The Schottheimer era for Kansas City and San Diego meant plenty of regular season wins but playoff fizzle. True to form, the Chargers are currently 13-2. If they don’t shoot themselves in the foot in three weeks, it will be a miracle.

This season in the Higher Things Fantasy Football League my team went 11-2, three games ahead of Pr. Borghardt’s second place team, and securing the bye. Unfortunately a playoff win wasn’t in the picture even with two tries. So I’m feeling a little Marty-ish this year.

Before the playoffs started Pr. Borghardt suggested I write a “how I kicked HT” post and divulge all my secrets. I didn’t think so, but with the playoffs ending as they did perhaps I should do it, and screw the would-be champion next year.

So in the Christmas spirit (Jacob Marley, perhaps) here are some rules of thumb:

1. Old ROT: Don’t play quarterbacks the week they come back from an injury. New ROT: Don’t play returning quarterbacks the rest of the season. The only exception I’ve seen to this is Donovan McNabb. Trent Green and Matt Hasselbeck killed me this year.
2. Draft people in the last year of their contract. Shaun Alexander was monster for me before he re-signed. Tony Gonzalez, when he started seeking other teams, boosted his production. A new contract is a big incentive for performance.
3. Eschew running backs by committee. You want running backs who don’t share.
4. If your monster running back got injured late the previous year, draft his backup with a late pick. This paid awesome dividends last year when I picked up Priest Holmes in the first round and Larry Johnson in the seventh round.
5. Defenses aren’t affected as much by a single injury, so after your first defense’s bye week, drop your alternate defense to gain an additional bench spot.
6. Cancellation: a strategy best used where your opponent has Peyton Manning and you have Reggie Wayne or Marvin Harrison. If Peyton passes to your guy, you both get six points. The bad news: if Peyton has a bad day, you could have done better with a different receiver. Cancellation seems to work only with very good quarterbacks who have favorite receivers: Dallas’s Romo and Owens, for example. It worked for me once this year with Manning and Harrison. It doesn’t work often.
7. Run defenses don’t stop the great running backs very well. Passing defenses affect quarterbacks more. You wouldn’t ever bench Tomlinson or Johnson, but you might consider benching any quarterback in the right situation.
8. Draft running backs who can catch, and it’s like adding an additional receiver to your team.
9. Points on the bench suck. Was it a fluke game, or something you missed in the matchup?
10. Yahoo puts out their intel on Thursday morning, NFL on Tuesday morning. Check them.
11. The playoffs are like another season, and past experience is no guarantee of future results.

So there you have it. I make no warranty, express or implied, that this advice will make you any money in a cash fantasy football league. Unless you have Gray’s Sports Almanac, you’re just going to have to suck it up and admit you don’t know the future.

If any of you HT or other fantasy footballers want to take issue with any points, let me know.