March 27th, 2005 at 11:55 pm
The Airport Report has been updated. I’m going to replace “Recent or not” with date of last fly-through as I visit an airport again for a more objective measure. I also added Shreveport, LA, to the list.
As I boarded the regional jet in Houston the top of the door came down to my collar bone. The Jerry Hall-lookalike (and I mean Alicia the stoned girl in Batman) gave me a how-are-you-gonna-do-that stare and I responded, “Well it looks like I’ll just have to leave my head in Houston.” She said I could wait for a bigger plane, but it might take years for them to get one. Nice. While the plane was boarding she was learning crochet from an off-duty flight attendant flying home.
Before boarding the only option for dinner that late in IAH Terminal B was the pizza-and-sandwich vendor. I ordered a personal pizza and diet Snapple peach tea. The darkly-complected primarily-Spanish-speaker charged me $9.50. I gave him my credit card which he swiped, and I signed it on his counter, which was wet with drops of water and mustard. The receipt had a blank for a tip, but given the nasty counter and the fact that I don’t tip unless there is service involved, like refilling my drink, I left it blank. I placed the receipt and the pen near the cash register for him to read. He picked up the receipt, made a frown, and mumbled something that sounded like, “Next time don’t throw the pen.” I was confused at first and asked, “Did you say I threw the pen at you?” No response, and I repeated the question more strongly. He ignored me again. The guy in line behind me suggested I do bodily harm to the short skinny guy. I just left it alone. Later I wanted another Snapple, but that was revenue he was bound and determined to lose.
Before the night runs out, let me just wish you a Happy Easter. He is risen; He is risen indeed!
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