Tattling
January 22nd, 2008 at 10:27 pm
January 22nd, 2008 at 10:27 pm
The blog of the Concordian Sisters of Perpetual Parturition ponders on the ethics of tattling:
Is there some inherent fault with tattling such that the tattler should get in trouble for having tattled? Or, given that I want to know if someone is doing something they shouldn’t, should tattling be encouraged?
We discourage tattling with the older daughter, who plays with two older second cousins in the afternoon. She can be a little dramatic, and she knows she can use that drama in attempts to manipulate parents or designated authorities. We want her to be able to solve problems on her own, such as taking turns in games. Any problems she can negotiate herself will give her confidence and recognize the situations where she truly needs help. That will help her more than instant blind justice for a perceived infraction.
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January 30th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
I think the problem with tattling is rooted in the idea of honor. The idea of honor took somewhat of a beating with the advent of a New Testament ethic. But what was ruled out was having honor as a highest value. The Old Testament culture was an honor culture. And in some more recent times, we’ve seen a partial honor culture coexist with Christian values. I think things are best when much that we know from General Revelation is cultivated, but kept subservient.
“Tattling” works against the idea of being able to trust people. There may be times where simple honesty requires that we do tell what our neighbor did that was wrong. Most won’t consider that tattling. But we must be careful here. I think that tattling is generally what we call it when someone wishes to get unearned attention or curry favor with an authority, often not caring whether they got their story right to begin with. It may be self-perpetuating. Those who tattle are not trusted. Therefore they often are not privy to the whole story. Yet they imagine they are. So they go spill another story without having all the facts. And on, and on.