Necessary Roughness

This evening an interesting thing happened. The younger daughter sang one of the five-note Amens from Divine Service III on Sunday. The older daughter, thinking it was cute and good, repeated it. Thus the younger daughter, seeing sister’s approval, really got into it, singing it over and over again.

Not only could this be a bad thing because it could get annoying for those around her, but allowed to happen this becomes what we call a self-stimulation, or a “stim.” She uses it to create a mental environment where she can block the environment out and be comfortable. We want her to be able to be comfortable while remaining engaged with her environment.

There are times when a “no” or “don’t do that” is necessary, but a lot of times a “redirection” is a better way to alter undesired behavior. Instead of telling someone what not to do, tell them what and how to do what is desired. It requires more thinking on the enforcer’s part, but the instruction is more valuable.

So I told my older daughter, when she does that, let her do it once, but don’t say it over and over again. Keep giving her new things because she likes what you say. If you run out of new things, have her count numbers, or say the Apostles’ Creed, or ask her what colors something has on it.

When she gets her head around those, there’s always the What does this mean? set…

By the way, one of the things the younger one said under her breath this evening was as plain as day: “and in Jesus Christ his only Son our Lord.” So the rest of the Creed isn’t out of the question.