August 23rd, 2007 at 5:20 pm
Time magazine’s web site has an article that draws from a new book, Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light. In her writings to confessors and bishops, Mother Teresa confesses that during much of her service she did not feel that Jesus loved her, and she believed that he was not with her.
Mother Teresa had asked that her writings be destroyed; instead the Roman Catholic church kept them and published them. Mother Teresa may have been the wiser. There are imagined conversations with Jesus, documenting feelings that Jesus took himself away from her. She wanted her writings destroyed so that people would focus more on Christ and less on her.
I think Mother Teresa will find at the Last Day that using her feelings to determine whether or not the Lord was assisting her was a false and human test. There will be days where we feel like we are doing the will of God. There will also be days where it feels like we are being worked against. Mother Teresa was the face of God to many an Indian whether she felt like it or not.
Some people never perceive a presence. Christ died for them anyway. If one does feel a presence, they should go right to 1 John 4:1-3 and test that spirit. I would be more concerned for that someone who felt a contrary spirit over one who felt none at all.
That Mother Teresa had a “crisis of faith” should not come as a shock to anyone. She was human. She was both sinner and saint, whether or not she is canonized. To look outside the Word for evidence of salvation is an error. The Word tells us that Christ died and rose for her, for you, and for me. The Word of the Lord remains forever.
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August 24th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
I rather tend to believe Mother Teresa. Once I heard her interviewed on tv, and in response to some question about all the glorious things she has done, she shrugged and said, “I was working for my church.”
Don’t know how Lutherans feel about the idea of the Holy Spirit prospering attempts to spread Catholicism…
Plus, she belonged to one of those organizations that preaches a God who has to kill either us or Jesus, so if she couldn’t feel His love, I cannot wonder at that.
St. Symeon the New Theologian had a rather strongly-worded thing to say in this regard, which I came across just today. It’s actually about Baptism, but the last sentence, may pertain:
When a man whoi s naked in body puts on something, he has a clear awareness of the completed act and perceives the type of garment he is wearing. How then is it possible for the naked in soul not to feel anything when he puts on God? If, however, he does not in fact feel anything, then there exist two possible explanations: either God does not exist, or else the man who puts Him on is insensate, that is, dea. And I fear that those who maintain that the faithful can possess the Spirit of God within themselves, while remaining unaware of this fact, are in reality dead and naked in soul.
I do NOT mean what St. Symeon says necessarily describes Mother Teresa, but what I do mean is, only she and God know. At any rate, I think we ought to give respectful consideration to the possibility that her experience corresponded to sober reality — except of course her feeling that God did not love her, for we know He loves every single one of us unconditionally, infinitely, eternally.
Anastasia
August 24th, 2007 at 8:07 pm
Anastasia,
If you require a feeling to know God has saved you, are you “dead” in your sleep at night? What about the comatose? The mentally incapable? Did Christ die for those as well? If our salvation depends on feeling “God’s Presence,” than those who do not feel it are lost. In addition, those of other religions and cults who claim to feel God would also be (logically) saved. This violates Christ’s statement that “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6) God is always present, and always knows the entirety of our short lives. Why do we need to “feel” him to know He is there?
Lutherans believe that we cannot, of our own volition or choice, decide to follow Christ. Otherwise we could say “we saved ourself.” God must instill faith, through the Holy Spirit. Without the Holy Spirit, we cannot believe. As for prospering attempts- God uses good means and even turns the devil’s actions against him to spread the Word. The Holy Spirit is required, and thus spreads the Word as the wind- we don’t know where it is going, just that it is.
There is another option that St. Symeon doesn’t mention. If you cannot “feel God”, it could also mean you are not able to. This doesn’t mean I can explain entirely what I mean here, but it is another alternative, one he didn’t mention. Since God created the universe, I don’t think I could even claim to understand the foolishness of God or understand the presence of Him. I am just too sinful to do such and would be consumed by God’s wrath in an instant if I were to stand in my mortal self before Him in His glory. God is present in the Word and in His promises. I wish someone would have let Mother Teresa know God has made promises He will keep, regardless of how we feel, or any lack thereof.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:43 pm
Hi, VirginiaLutherans,
(I’m in Virginia, if that’s what your ID means.)
The first victim of following her feelings was Eve, so yes, I’ll be the first to agree that feelings are a false and fickle guide. Appearances are equally deceiving, of course.
Nevertheless, there IS that awareness of the Holy Spirit, dwelling within, that far transcends feeling, and is there especially when we are most aware of our sin (probably because that’s when we’re most humble. And if that’s missing, especially over a period of months and years, yes, I have to say something is wrong, very wrong.
Don’t know about the mentally incompentent or those in comas. There are always exceptions to everything. The thief on the cross was not baptized, another exception. But *normally*, that awarenes of the Divine Presence certainly is with us. And yes, it is possible for us to still be aware of Him even in our sleep. (Psalm 63:6, Song of Songs 5:2) The prophet Daniel had visions in his sleep. So did St. Joseph, when he dreamed he should flee to Egypt with Mary and Jesus. Lazarus even heard Christ although he was dead! And nothing, but nothing, can make up for absence of that concrete, intimate relationship with a very real, very Present Christ. Not even all those promises you mention, because, as St. Paul says, the Holy Spirit in our hearts is the “earnest” or “pledge” of those very promises. That here and now abiding Presnce is the “downpayment” on our salvation. (Romans 8:19, 2 Corinthians 1:22, Ephesians 1:14)
The article, a *fascinating* read, said Mother Teresa struggled all her life with pride. It pointed out, for example, that she agonized incessantly (I think that was the word) over giving all the credit for her achievements to God — when that ought to have been a no-brainer, yes? One simply says, “All glory to Thee, O Lord,” and has done with it, no agonizing required. Also, the title of the book is telling. It refers to the time Mother Teresa thought Jesus was telling her, “Come be My light.” Contrast that with YOUR humble manner of speaking: “I am just too sinful to do such and would be consumed by God’s wrath in an instant if I were to stand in my mortal self before Him in His glory.” You wouldn’t dare suppose you were God’s light. But she did, and it was when she began trying to carry that out that she ceased being aware of His presence. That ought to have been a giant red flag, I would have thought. I do not know, nobody knows nor can know, whether she was operating out of pride or not, but IF so, “God resists the proud.” Very curious her spiritual father didn’t advise her to go back to what she had been doing when last in fellowship with Him.
(He WOULD? God would consume you if you stood before Him this minute? Whatever for? Do you not believe Christ has saved you from that???)
Anastasia
August 24th, 2007 at 10:02 pm
Correction and clarification:
God does “hide” from His children from time to time, to exercise their faith, or to chasten, or whatever. He withdraws from our awareness, as the saints have well documented — but for a short time, not for years and years.
We are God’s light, according to Jesus (Let your light so shine…”) but that’s the very grain of truth that can make a deception so insidious. We ought really to question hard any spirit that tells us, “Come be my light” instead of, for example, “Come, bring the light” (St. Paul’s vision re the Macedonians) or “Come, shine my light upon them.”
Anastasia
August 25th, 2007 at 12:32 am
Yes, I live in Virginia.
My mortal body is sinful, and thus could not stand before God. The work isn’t complete, although if God were to purify my body, I would be able to (see multiple prophets). I also don’t want to fall into the temptation to ignore my own sinfulness.
Would you not agree we are most aware of our sin when we are condemned by the Spirit? How much more can we rejoice when the Spirit reminds us of God’s promises of forgiveness and salvation, the “hope” we have? I don’t doubt that prophets had visions and dreamed dreams while asleep (or awake), but I also know my current experience is pretty much close eyes, open eyes and find the alarm clock to turn it off! I am not terribly cognizant of what is going on, even with children needing attention sometimes. (I am thankful my wife sleeps lightly in those cases.) That is what I am referring to- the times in our lives we are not cognizant of what we should be, or even paying attention to the mundane things of this world.
Your clarification points to what I touched on in my blog (the link in my name). Her “conversations” sound like the devil, and they carry a tone that isn’t in the Bible. The other thing I find interesting is the lack of going back to the Word. Why didn’t her confidants refer her to the Gospel? This is where God lists everything we need to know, promises, curses, and how we came to be in this sorry state. Obviously, I can’t (and won’t) say if she lacked faith, if her pride was in the way, or anything else. If I would take anything away, it is that God will work in ways we never know, even unto using the devil’s own ploys against the devil himself. In a completely subjective sense, it looks like the devil tried to use this as a means to destroy a nun or nuns and God used it to spread His Word. This is my own, very uninformed guess. Going that far by itself is a bit of a stretch, but I want you to understand how I am looking at the whole episode- God vs Devil (Devil vs man). Aren’t you glad we won this war already?:-)
August 25th, 2007 at 9:10 am
Went to bed last night with a real bitterness inside me, for even having speculated upon the state of someone else’s soul. So I think I’ll call it quits now and go check out your blog instead!
Anastasia