Among the things I had to do as soon as I got home this evening was fix the dryer. I was merely told it wasn’t working; the hot air and the humidity produced when I ran it gave me a clue what was wrong. I pulled the dryer out away from the wall just enough to look down, and thankfully, it was just the metal exhaust hose disconnected from the dryer. Reconnect the hose, and things would be fine.

Making things complicated was the fact that the dryer hose was so short I couldn’t pull the dryer out all the way to walk behind it. I had to reach over the back and work upside down. The washer and dryer are nice Kenmore models, about 5′ tall. They sit under small wooden cabinets. I could pull the dryer out enough to lay on top of the dryer, hang over, and reattach the hose. The washer and dryer held my weight. I had the right tools for the job, the drill with the screwdriver bit and the socket set with the appropriate nut driver.

I lay on top of the washer and the pulled out dryer, using my legs as ballast over the front of the washer. This was possible because I’m 6′4″. I reached down over the back of the dryer and grabbed the hose. I loosened the clamp a little bit, but got the bright idea to take the screw out of the clamp so that it could be turned around, giving me room to close the clamp with the cordless drill. After taking the screw out of the clamp, I realized that reversing the screw would break the clamp. I proceeded to put the screw back in —

— and the screw dropped all the way to the ground in back of the dryer.

I thought, I could reach just a little further and get that screw. I scooted a little more, picked up the screw, and realized I had no way to push myself back up. I put the screw back on top of the dryer and was locked in a handstand. I yelled for my daughter to go get her mother.

My wife came in the room and asked what I needed. I told her to push down on my leg, still hanging over the front of the dryer, so that I wouldn’t fall completely behind the dryer. She pushed up, then down after I yelled “Down!” a second time. With the push in the right direction, I could just hang on the dryer and use my hands, searching for something to push up on. The problem was my behind, which was now under the cabinet and needed to be scooted back onto the dryer somehow. My wife asked if I needed her to do anything else, and I said no, I just needed to think about how to solve this. My wife let go.

My hands went up (down) in time, and I caught myself. I had to let myself down very carefully, almost yoga-like, avoiding the washer hoses and the electrical cables. At one point my left foot was tied up, but I freed it. I righted myself, attached the hose, and prepared to climb back out of the hole. As I pushed myself up over the dryer, I must have kicked the hose, because it came unattached.

I went back down, fixed the hose, all this time my daughter “helping” me by asking if I needed various things. One time I did need her. I asked her to get the stepping stool, which was small enough that I could get it in and get it out of the hole I was in. Stepping on that, I could leave the hose alone, and I got out.

My wife had asked that since I was back there, if I could use a broom and sweep. Since most of the lint was stuck to my shirt, I declined. The mission was accomplished, with just a little scratch to show for my efforts.

If it happens again I’ll just take the stepping stool and not risk my neck. :)